Let’s just say this up front: the 4th of July has never been our family’s Super Bowl.

Independence Day Weekend 2022, Left Party Early

Sure, we love a theme. We love red-white-and-blue popsicles and glittery star banners and pretending we’re the kind of family who “makes memories” and not just survival decisions. But when you’re parenting two neurodivergent kids (and are very neurodivergent yourself), summer holidays come with a fine print no one ever talks about.

And this year, the fine print reads: it’s 96 degrees out, the sensory systems are melting, and even joy needs scaffolding.

The Heat Hits Different

Interoception—the internal sense that helps us know if we’re hot, hungry, or need to pee—is often off in neurodivergent bodies. Which means my kids can be running around in fleece pants and hoodies during a code red heat alert, and if I suggest shorts? Meltdown city.

I don’t say that lightly. It’s not about disobedience. It’s about how their bodies and brains interpret the world. And that interpretation is often misread by others as “fine.”

They look fine.
They’re coping fine.
They’ll be fine.

Except they’re not. Not really. They’re masking. They’re assimilating. They’re blending in just enough to get through a BBQ, a parade, a loud family visit—and then unraveling afterward. Quietly, privately, sometimes with shame or shutdowns, sometimes with full-body meltdowns. And it’s not their fault.

And, The Day-After Effect Is Real

We’ve learned—often the hard way—that overstimulation doesn’t hit all at once. You can have a “good” day, full of smiles and sunshine, and still end up paying for it with two or three tough ones after. Because dysregulation is cumulative. The demands pile up. And that so-called “resilience” everyone loves to applaud? More often than not, it’s just burnout wearing a brave face. So we’re doing our best to walk that line between memory-making and meltdown prevention—trying to keep it cool in every sense of the word.

Here’s 4 July activities to do inside this July 4th

Red-White-and-Blue Sensory Ice Play
Freeze colored water (use natural food dye or fruit juice!) in different shapes and bins. Add scoops, tongs, and bowls. It’s temperature regulating, great for tactile input, and bonus—it buys you 15-30 minutes of peace.

🌀 Spin Art Stars
Cut stars from cardstock and let the kids drip red, white, and blue paint on them inside a salad spinner. Fast, low-mess, and surprisingly regulating for visual seekers.

🍓 Freedom Fruit Cups
Layer strawberries, coconut yogurt, and blueberries. Let kids help. Low-demand, visually fun, and safe for many diets.

🧘‍♀️ Yoga Pose of the Weekend: Forward Fold
Stand tall, fold from the hips, and let your head hang. It calms the nervous system and invites quiet. A great reset move for kids, adults and pups.

Independence Looks Different Here

Independence, for us, isn’t about fireworks and late-night block parties. It’s about helping our kids feel safe enough to unmask. It’s about letting go of the “shoulds” and trusting our instincts celebrating how we see fit—even if no one else understands it.

And it’s about us, too.

It’s about recognizing when we’re deep in the burnout spiral and refusing to stay there. It’s about finding support, making adjustments, taking breaks, getting therapy, calling out ableism, and honoring our needs alongside our kids’.

Because we deserve to take up space.
Even when it’s not the “typical” version of a holiday.

2024, Skipped the outdoor BBQ for an Indoor Play Place

Final Thought: Don’t Wait

If your gut is telling you something—about your kid, your body, your burnout, your family—listen. Don’t wait for a crisis to pivot. Don’t wait for things to get worse before asking for help.

You don’t need permission to change the script.
You just need support—and the courage to trust yourself.

Until next time, keep doing what works (until it doesn’t),
Christie

P.S.
Looking for more support? Check out our Advocacy Script Freebie and a few simple, sensory-friendly summer ideas under the Extras tab. Your family gets to do this differently—and we’re here for it!

Previous
Previous

Why I Won't Call Us "Neurospicy"

Next
Next

How I Almost Missed This — and Why You Shouldn’t